Good evening, everyone! How's your Sunday? Is it lovely? In the fact that I'm sitting here, in front of my laptop and share another life story of mine, instead of doing my Final Year Project, you should know how my Sunday was. Nothing special.
Oh yeah, about my last Graduation Show pitch, I've missed it. Yeah, like I said, I was pretty sure about the result even before I joined the pitch, but, who know, just giving a try and should I say, it's not worth trying. It's not even a fair play. But that's life, nothing fair.
So, today I want to share with you, especially with my beloved best friends which I've known for almost 3 years. We share life, laugh and love for the last 3 years, and more for some of them, so we're pretty close, for me at least. I don't know when they'll read this post, tonight, tomorrow, next week, next year, next 5 years, or never, I just want to share my thoughts for you guys.
As you know, we are having our Final Year Project, yeah Final Year. So, this is our last year and last semester in this school, or maybe in this city, or maybe our last year as a design student. There are plenty different plans we had in our head right now. Some of them would like to further their study in the same school, some of them might want to go overseas, some of them wanna go further their career, and some of them are still not sure about their future. Yap, the last point is the problem, some of them are still not sure where are they actually belong to. It troubled them a lot, in my mother tongue, we called it 'galau'. They said that after this 3 years, they're finally awakened from their long sleep and they feel that this is not they wanted to do. They aren't belong in this path. They started to blame themselves for only realizing this after 3 years, they're blaming themselves for wasting their money and time. And these are things that's attempting to them, to my best friends.
BUT, not for me, or not yet? I don't feel something like this, well yeah, there's the time when I'm worried and afraid of my future, afraid of not getting job and no being able to pay my brothers school fees, it came to me back then, sometimes. But at this moment, I didn't experience the same things which my friends actually did, I've never ever think that design is not right for me, and regret for choosing this as my college major, as my job field. I've chosen this module, 3 years ago, based on the economic prospect in this area of job.
Let's go back to 3 years back then, at the moment when my father left my mother and brothers, I knew that we were all going towards the dark path, should I say the bottom part of our life, it will go darker and darker as we keep walking. It will end on the worst point as the climax and eventually be fine after that. We've been through that, the moment when you had a 1billion rupiah (approx. $100grands) worth of house, but you had only 300k rupiah (approx. $30) cash for the rest of the month. What should you do? Yeah, having instant noodles as your all-day-meals. Thank God that the food in Indonesia cost cheaper, so we can have some side-dishes. Believe it or not, we've been through this. At that moment, I swear God, I would like to give all my life to them, to my family, my little family, my mom, my brothers, my grandma. Everybody alive in this world has a soul, if you said the soul is yours, so sorry, you've mistaken. The souls belongs to the God, we only trusted to lead it, we only lend it here, when we live. When we dead, we'll give it back to our dear God. So, back to the story, I told God, that started that point of time, I would like to give my life, my soul to this little family, I want to make them happy and they would never, ever meet this situation again for the rest of their life. Simply because they didn't deserved that. They're innocent, they are great people and great people did not deserved that kind of treatment. So, what should I do? Innocently, this 17th yo girl thought that she should make a lot of money. And she started to dig what she is good at, and she found an old memories of drawings. Since that, she knew she would like to draw and make money from there.
A few months after, somebody brought the words "Graphic Design" to her, and when she was Googling about that stuff, she found a treasure box, there was an opportunity to get a massive, a huge amount of money through this job field, and she ridiculously believe that. That's how I end up in this major right now. Yeah, pretty foolish should I say. But, it's also because I don't have any other options, I'm not good at math, nor economic and language, so this is my only option.
Same thing with this moment I'm facing right now, I have no option. I want to further my study actually, but the money is not there. I can't follow my ego and spent all my mom's last money without knowing if there's a guarantee I'm going to get a job and pay my brothers school fees. I know what my mom is thinking, and I understand that. So, what should I do? Go get a job, pay my brothers school fees, and if there's some amount left, I can pursue my degree. I'm not blaming anyone for this situation, this is what I've chosen.
So, from here, in my opinion -underlined, bold-, the problem is they had too many options and they have not realized yet the purpose of their life. Who they want to dedicate their life to. As for me, like I've mentioned before, success is when you could dedicate your life for someone else for something worth, even if it's just a little thing like making them smile when they're sad. So, I want to dedicate my life to my family, I want to make them happy using the soul I borrowed from God. When you had this goal in your life, it will helps you to decide where you want to be and you'll do it whatever it takes.
And trust me, don't you ever regret what's happened to your life, it's all had their own meaning and purposes for your life. It's a continuity that will leads you to some points, in the right timing, in the right venue.
As for today, what I want to tell you guys, all my best friends, never give up, never regrets, do your best, you're worth it, you're all special in different ways and you're holding somebody's smile. Your life is not determined by your college's major decisions or whether you will further your study or career first or where are you gonna have it, it will be influenced, but not determined. Your life worth for something bigger, somebody's happiness. Just found that people and give them their smile. That moment, you'll know that you're doing the right thing. Good luck for all of you and all of us. God bless us.
See you in the next post. Have a great Monday!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
February 10, 2017
Hi everyone. How's your day? I hope it's amazing, not like mine. Sigh.
So, I had a new revolution starting from today. After a halfway of reading a very very great book titled, How to Think Like a Great Graphic Designer, it's a very very recommended book actually, I've learned one thing I called the 5 years cycle. Every designer would have this cycle I'm pretty sure. What do I mean of cycle? It's about the time that you should reflect on your self about what you've done in this 5 years, filter some things out, and finally you should say goodbye to it. You should left it out and begin a new thing. Nothing is last forever in this world and for all designers this execution time comes once in five years.
So ..., from now on, all my post will be titled based on the date I write it, but, I'll add five years for the years. In five years time, I hope I could re-read it and filter some things out of it and finally said my farewell to the rest. I might giggling about my stupidity and naiveness, but all of this is a very precious moment I've gone through in the process. And I know, for sure, someday I will be success, I believe in this, for the sake of every people who has loved me.
Today's story. I'm being embarrassed in front of everyone. Guess what? One of my great lecturer, a very great lecturer, Winnie Tan, she ask me to do one of the yoga pose to relieve my stress. Okay I know it's really embarrassing. So I asked the whole class to follow her, and end up the whole class is doing yoga today. Yeah, right. But it's not about the yoga I'm gonna talking about today, it's about her, should I say sincerity? I don't even know what a right word should I express it. So, I'm really stress actually, honestly, I feel like stuck, I can't think properly and worst, I'm being sensitive these days because of my you-know-what. Like I said before, my head was filled up with a ton of questions about my FYP, about the concept, about my capability. And actually, I'm still feels bad for one of my best friends, Jessica. I had such a misunderstanding with her, and it was my fault. I know I shouldn't that sentence, but I said it. This stupid mouth and brain of mine, I don't even know what happened to them, but they just say the words out. And it's just happened. I know I've been apologizing her so many many times, and I think she had forgiven me, but I feel that I'm a really, really bad person for saying that words. I feel like have no attitude. I really don't mean it, Cika, and I couldn't forgive myself for doing that to you.
In additional, this morning, the other lecturer didn't support me in the way that, she told me that she's confused with my concept. Her face expression, her gesture are all already expressed that she didn't stand in a same way with me. She's lost. So, with those all problems stuck in my head, honestly I feel like crying, but I know I shouldn't do it and embarrass myself. I try to hold it, but at that time, the situation is just, oh God, it's like screaming at you and tell you to cry out loud. I told Winnie about what Bell has told me about, and she's actually understand my position. But same thing, she stand opposite me. What she has said was:
"You are boxing yourself and you try to fit yourself in this box. If you feel that this 'Baking' concept is not working anymore, why should you boxing yourself inside and try to fit yourself in? You should just open the box and free yourself. You should stop looking outside and begin to look into yourself, NAFA is about us, it's about your personal experience. And personal experience is something about doing that you like, it's about doing something happily. Something that's done happily will produce something that can make people happy too. It will automatically inspire people."
Another great advice again. I found it true to be honest. This concept made me asking so many questions to myself, and ... that's it! I meet the end part of it. This should just be ended here. So, today, at this moment I finally meet the situation that has been describe in that book, when you are actually face a wall and you should be dare to leave all the things here. Because everything you're gonna do, the wall would never gonna be moved, and it might end up you just stuck yourself there, trying to fix yourself in.
So people, let's move back, try to find another way out, and wrap up!
Everything's gonna be okay. It's a common thing here. Don't be scared to express your mind, if you did it happily, it will definitely inspiring.
See you in the next post! Have a great day :D
So, I had a new revolution starting from today. After a halfway of reading a very very great book titled, How to Think Like a Great Graphic Designer, it's a very very recommended book actually, I've learned one thing I called the 5 years cycle. Every designer would have this cycle I'm pretty sure. What do I mean of cycle? It's about the time that you should reflect on your self about what you've done in this 5 years, filter some things out, and finally you should say goodbye to it. You should left it out and begin a new thing. Nothing is last forever in this world and for all designers this execution time comes once in five years.
So ..., from now on, all my post will be titled based on the date I write it, but, I'll add five years for the years. In five years time, I hope I could re-read it and filter some things out of it and finally said my farewell to the rest. I might giggling about my stupidity and naiveness, but all of this is a very precious moment I've gone through in the process. And I know, for sure, someday I will be success, I believe in this, for the sake of every people who has loved me.
Today's story. I'm being embarrassed in front of everyone. Guess what? One of my great lecturer, a very great lecturer, Winnie Tan, she ask me to do one of the yoga pose to relieve my stress. Okay I know it's really embarrassing. So I asked the whole class to follow her, and end up the whole class is doing yoga today. Yeah, right. But it's not about the yoga I'm gonna talking about today, it's about her, should I say sincerity? I don't even know what a right word should I express it. So, I'm really stress actually, honestly, I feel like stuck, I can't think properly and worst, I'm being sensitive these days because of my you-know-what. Like I said before, my head was filled up with a ton of questions about my FYP, about the concept, about my capability. And actually, I'm still feels bad for one of my best friends, Jessica. I had such a misunderstanding with her, and it was my fault. I know I shouldn't that sentence, but I said it. This stupid mouth and brain of mine, I don't even know what happened to them, but they just say the words out. And it's just happened. I know I've been apologizing her so many many times, and I think she had forgiven me, but I feel that I'm a really, really bad person for saying that words. I feel like have no attitude. I really don't mean it, Cika, and I couldn't forgive myself for doing that to you.
In additional, this morning, the other lecturer didn't support me in the way that, she told me that she's confused with my concept. Her face expression, her gesture are all already expressed that she didn't stand in a same way with me. She's lost. So, with those all problems stuck in my head, honestly I feel like crying, but I know I shouldn't do it and embarrass myself. I try to hold it, but at that time, the situation is just, oh God, it's like screaming at you and tell you to cry out loud. I told Winnie about what Bell has told me about, and she's actually understand my position. But same thing, she stand opposite me. What she has said was:
"You are boxing yourself and you try to fit yourself in this box. If you feel that this 'Baking' concept is not working anymore, why should you boxing yourself inside and try to fit yourself in? You should just open the box and free yourself. You should stop looking outside and begin to look into yourself, NAFA is about us, it's about your personal experience. And personal experience is something about doing that you like, it's about doing something happily. Something that's done happily will produce something that can make people happy too. It will automatically inspire people."
Another great advice again. I found it true to be honest. This concept made me asking so many questions to myself, and ... that's it! I meet the end part of it. This should just be ended here. So, today, at this moment I finally meet the situation that has been describe in that book, when you are actually face a wall and you should be dare to leave all the things here. Because everything you're gonna do, the wall would never gonna be moved, and it might end up you just stuck yourself there, trying to fix yourself in.
So people, let's move back, try to find another way out, and wrap up!
Everything's gonna be okay. It's a common thing here. Don't be scared to express your mind, if you did it happily, it will definitely inspiring.
See you in the next post! Have a great day :D
Thursday, February 9, 2012
February 8th, 2012
It's been a long time since my last post, hope everybody in a great, healthy, the most important happy condition. I'm really apologize for my long hiatus, and in this opportunity I wanna greet everybody, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Chinese New Year! I know it's very, very, extremely late to say that. But late it's always better than nothing.
So, how's life?
For me, so many things happened, I explored many many more characters of people, and should I say I explored and learned many things. Just some highlight, I've finished my internship, I got a very, very great boss -I might say the best boss ever exist in this cruel world, and I've started to work as a freelance Graphic Designer and Illustration, and from there I got my own money, and it feels so good. Next thing, I'm a third year student right now and I'm graduating soon. Oh my God, I can't believe it. So, I'm doing my Final Year Project right now, and it's about my upcoming Graduation Show itself. WOW!
So, that's pretty much of it. And the problem is, as usual, I had so many things running around in my mind right now. Seriously, it's a LOT. It's kind of a huge pile of papers that flying around and being messed up because of a typhoon just happened. Okay, first thing first, I'm really nervous for my upcoming presentation. So, I joined a pitch for my upcoming Graduation Show visual identity. I really really wanna join up in this pitch, not being naive, I want it to appear in my 'weak' portfolio, since I feel that I'm really a newbie in this field, and I'm really green, and I'm a weak-not-outstanding one, I've never -not say never, lets say rarely, won any competitions, I feel that I'm very far from good, and well, basically I have no confidence.
I really need quite a time to decide whether should I join in this pitch, I feel I had no capability of being persuasive and 'sell' something, in the first place. I had no confidence about the concept I'm going to propose. I know, if you can't even convince yourself, how are you gonna convince other people? There are so many many questions inside my mind that I keep asking myself about my concept. Is this good enough? Why are you choose this out of many things in this earth? Are you sure that this is good enough? Gosh, really, this is driving me crazy.
And, I'm really, really pathetic in case of presentation, especially in English. I'm not fluent in English, well since English is not my mother tangue language. And the worst thing, did you ever imagine my competitors? WOW! I don't even want to imagine that. Okay, let me tell you, what I heard so far, one of them, are a whole class joined as a group. Ouuuhhh~ How can one brain compete with twenty over brains?
From what you heard, you know that you're not gonna win. Definitely. But at that time, I called my mum. Should I say, she's really an angel? She's really wise. I tell her the full story of it, and I shared everything in my mind. What she said to me was:
"You are afraid because you expect something.. You should just take this as an experience, you'll never know. Be dare to challenge yourself, since you know that you're not really good in this kind of thing (presentation), you should take this as an exercise, to make it better. What you need to do it's just go, present your mind, express your idea, expect nothing, and going out. Remember, don't you ever expect something, just give it a try. Sometimes, you know, it's going to be better and all out if you just do it without any burden of expectation."
That's one of the most wise advice I've ever heard from her. She know how to support me, encourage me, and giving an advice in the same time. I really thank God for giving me this wonder woman, I LOVE YOU MOM.
But, the problem didn't stop there. I know that I should give it a try, just give my best, expect nothing, and everything would be okay, problem solved. BUT, as a human being, can you just do something without expectation come with it? You should have, at least, 0.0000000000000000000000000000001% of expectation. Am I right? It's no longer about having zero expectation, it's about HOW TO HAVE THIS 'ZERO-EXPECTATION'? The moment I'm thinking about expecting nothing from this, I have no more interest to join this pitch. But, when I have even 0.0000000000000000000000000000001% expectation, and the fact is just the opposite of it, I would be sad, at least a day, exactly. And it would affect all my mood, my mind, my brain, even my FYP, definitely anything.
Oh gosh! Live is complicated right? I know. GAH!
Please please, for those having an answer for this, please I beg you, leave a comment and give me a hard bang on my head.
Anyway, for those who are staying in Singapore, or gonna come to Singapore, between February 16 and March 2, if I'm not wrong, and interested in Graphic Design, Art, and Photography, you should come to Noise Festival at ION Orchard. One of my project was showcased there! Please do come and support me :D
Thank you very much for read all of those crap in my mind.
I'll be going to prepare my presentation, which is this upcoming monday, and I can promise one thing here. I'll give my best shot! Promise.
See you in the next post! Have a great night!
So, how's life?
For me, so many things happened, I explored many many more characters of people, and should I say I explored and learned many things. Just some highlight, I've finished my internship, I got a very, very great boss -I might say the best boss ever exist in this cruel world, and I've started to work as a freelance Graphic Designer and Illustration, and from there I got my own money, and it feels so good. Next thing, I'm a third year student right now and I'm graduating soon. Oh my God, I can't believe it. So, I'm doing my Final Year Project right now, and it's about my upcoming Graduation Show itself. WOW!
So, that's pretty much of it. And the problem is, as usual, I had so many things running around in my mind right now. Seriously, it's a LOT. It's kind of a huge pile of papers that flying around and being messed up because of a typhoon just happened. Okay, first thing first, I'm really nervous for my upcoming presentation. So, I joined a pitch for my upcoming Graduation Show visual identity. I really really wanna join up in this pitch, not being naive, I want it to appear in my 'weak' portfolio, since I feel that I'm really a newbie in this field, and I'm really green, and I'm a weak-not-outstanding one, I've never -not say never, lets say rarely, won any competitions, I feel that I'm very far from good, and well, basically I have no confidence.
I really need quite a time to decide whether should I join in this pitch, I feel I had no capability of being persuasive and 'sell' something, in the first place. I had no confidence about the concept I'm going to propose. I know, if you can't even convince yourself, how are you gonna convince other people? There are so many many questions inside my mind that I keep asking myself about my concept. Is this good enough? Why are you choose this out of many things in this earth? Are you sure that this is good enough? Gosh, really, this is driving me crazy.
And, I'm really, really pathetic in case of presentation, especially in English. I'm not fluent in English, well since English is not my mother tangue language. And the worst thing, did you ever imagine my competitors? WOW! I don't even want to imagine that. Okay, let me tell you, what I heard so far, one of them, are a whole class joined as a group. Ouuuhhh~ How can one brain compete with twenty over brains?
From what you heard, you know that you're not gonna win. Definitely. But at that time, I called my mum. Should I say, she's really an angel? She's really wise. I tell her the full story of it, and I shared everything in my mind. What she said to me was:
"You are afraid because you expect something.. You should just take this as an experience, you'll never know. Be dare to challenge yourself, since you know that you're not really good in this kind of thing (presentation), you should take this as an exercise, to make it better. What you need to do it's just go, present your mind, express your idea, expect nothing, and going out. Remember, don't you ever expect something, just give it a try. Sometimes, you know, it's going to be better and all out if you just do it without any burden of expectation."
That's one of the most wise advice I've ever heard from her. She know how to support me, encourage me, and giving an advice in the same time. I really thank God for giving me this wonder woman, I LOVE YOU MOM.
But, the problem didn't stop there. I know that I should give it a try, just give my best, expect nothing, and everything would be okay, problem solved. BUT, as a human being, can you just do something without expectation come with it? You should have, at least, 0.0000000000000000000000000000001% of expectation. Am I right? It's no longer about having zero expectation, it's about HOW TO HAVE THIS 'ZERO-EXPECTATION'? The moment I'm thinking about expecting nothing from this, I have no more interest to join this pitch. But, when I have even 0.0000000000000000000000000000001% expectation, and the fact is just the opposite of it, I would be sad, at least a day, exactly. And it would affect all my mood, my mind, my brain, even my FYP, definitely anything.
Oh gosh! Live is complicated right? I know. GAH!
Please please, for those having an answer for this, please I beg you, leave a comment and give me a hard bang on my head.
Anyway, for those who are staying in Singapore, or gonna come to Singapore, between February 16 and March 2, if I'm not wrong, and interested in Graphic Design, Art, and Photography, you should come to Noise Festival at ION Orchard. One of my project was showcased there! Please do come and support me :D
Thank you very much for read all of those crap in my mind.
I'll be going to prepare my presentation, which is this upcoming monday, and I can promise one thing here. I'll give my best shot! Promise.
See you in the next post! Have a great night!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
April 17th, 2011
Hi peeps, it has been a long time since my last post. I knew it. I've missed you all. :)
I should've been greet you all earlier, but it's out of my hand. The assessment, internship, and the school stuffs has taken all of my energy, my time, and every single part of my life. Wish me luck for all of them.
And they're all not even ended yet, now, I should've face my ISP. Oh God, please gimme your strength. I know I should be physically and MENTALLY prepared ... and yeah, let's not talk about that now.
Talk about me lately, I had a new idol. Guess who? *tadaa
Yeap! Lee Min Ho. I don't even know why should I taking so much time to figure out this. I should've admire him a long time before. It's a bit too late, but it's better than nothing.
I started to love him after I watched Personal Taste (2010). He acted as Jeon Jin Ho, an architect who's pretend to be a gay to save his firm from bankrupt. But at the end, he fallen for the landlady, Park Gae In, played by Son Ye Jin. What an hilarious romantic comedy drama. You all should've start to watch it.
And now, Lee Min Ho is preparing for his new drama, City Hunter. I'll be waiting for it!
Btw, do you guys wanna some pictures about Lee Min Ho?
Here you are! Enjoy! :D
Aaaannnndddddd~
there's one more important thing I want to share with you guys. Have you all checked BigBang's new song titled Love Song? The lyrics is "... I hate this Love Song..." but I just loved it more and more and more after I sang it. Check this out!
I should've been greet you all earlier, but it's out of my hand. The assessment, internship, and the school stuffs has taken all of my energy, my time, and every single part of my life. Wish me luck for all of them.
And they're all not even ended yet, now, I should've face my ISP. Oh God, please gimme your strength. I know I should be physically and MENTALLY prepared ... and yeah, let's not talk about that now.
Talk about me lately, I had a new idol. Guess who? *tadaa
Yeap! Lee Min Ho. I don't even know why should I taking so much time to figure out this. I should've admire him a long time before. It's a bit too late, but it's better than nothing.
I started to love him after I watched Personal Taste (2010). He acted as Jeon Jin Ho, an architect who's pretend to be a gay to save his firm from bankrupt. But at the end, he fallen for the landlady, Park Gae In, played by Son Ye Jin. What an hilarious romantic comedy drama. You all should've start to watch it.
And now, Lee Min Ho is preparing for his new drama, City Hunter. I'll be waiting for it!
Btw, do you guys wanna some pictures about Lee Min Ho?
Here you are! Enjoy! :D
Aaaannnndddddd~
there's one more important thing I want to share with you guys. Have you all checked BigBang's new song titled Love Song? The lyrics is "... I hate this Love Song..." but I just loved it more and more and more after I sang it. Check this out!
And that's all about Korea today~ I hope you guys like it, na na LOVE it!
End of the words, wish me luck for my ISP, internship, assessment and all of my school stuffs. Keep doing your best like what I've been doing now!
See you guys in the next post! Have a great Sunday! :D
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Small.Town.Big.Rain
Hi peeps.. Good to see you again~
Here I am trapped home a whole day because of this clumsy weather. But today I caught some good photos from this big heavy rain. Still thanks to You, God, you're such an amazing creator.
With some Lightroom and Photoshop touches plus Light Vintage actions, here they are~
And............ that's all I can share to you guys today.
See you in the next post! Have a great weekends pals! ;)
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