Good evening, everyone! How's your Sunday? Is it lovely? In the fact that I'm sitting here, in front of my laptop and share another life story of mine, instead of doing my Final Year Project, you should know how my Sunday was. Nothing special.
Oh yeah, about my last Graduation Show pitch, I've missed it. Yeah, like I said, I was pretty sure about the result even before I joined the pitch, but, who know, just giving a try and should I say, it's not worth trying. It's not even a fair play. But that's life, nothing fair.
So, today I want to share with you, especially with my beloved best friends which I've known for almost 3 years. We share life, laugh and love for the last 3 years, and more for some of them, so we're pretty close, for me at least. I don't know when they'll read this post, tonight, tomorrow, next week, next year, next 5 years, or never, I just want to share my thoughts for you guys.
As you know, we are having our Final Year Project, yeah Final Year. So, this is our last year and last semester in this school, or maybe in this city, or maybe our last year as a design student. There are plenty different plans we had in our head right now. Some of them would like to further their study in the same school, some of them might want to go overseas, some of them wanna go further their career, and some of them are still not sure about their future. Yap, the last point is the problem, some of them are still not sure where are they actually belong to. It troubled them a lot, in my mother tongue, we called it 'galau'. They said that after this 3 years, they're finally awakened from their long sleep and they feel that this is not they wanted to do. They aren't belong in this path. They started to blame themselves for only realizing this after 3 years, they're blaming themselves for wasting their money and time. And these are things that's attempting to them, to my best friends.
BUT, not for me, or not yet? I don't feel something like this, well yeah, there's the time when I'm worried and afraid of my future, afraid of not getting job and no being able to pay my brothers school fees, it came to me back then, sometimes. But at this moment, I didn't experience the same things which my friends actually did, I've never ever think that design is not right for me, and regret for choosing this as my college major, as my job field. I've chosen this module, 3 years ago, based on the economic prospect in this area of job.
Let's go back to 3 years back then, at the moment when my father left my mother and brothers, I knew that we were all going towards the dark path, should I say the bottom part of our life, it will go darker and darker as we keep walking. It will end on the worst point as the climax and eventually be fine after that. We've been through that, the moment when you had a 1billion rupiah (approx. $100grands) worth of house, but you had only 300k rupiah (approx. $30) cash for the rest of the month. What should you do? Yeah, having instant noodles as your all-day-meals. Thank God that the food in Indonesia cost cheaper, so we can have some side-dishes. Believe it or not, we've been through this. At that moment, I swear God, I would like to give all my life to them, to my family, my little family, my mom, my brothers, my grandma. Everybody alive in this world has a soul, if you said the soul is yours, so sorry, you've mistaken. The souls belongs to the God, we only trusted to lead it, we only lend it here, when we live. When we dead, we'll give it back to our dear God. So, back to the story, I told God, that started that point of time, I would like to give my life, my soul to this little family, I want to make them happy and they would never, ever meet this situation again for the rest of their life. Simply because they didn't deserved that. They're innocent, they are great people and great people did not deserved that kind of treatment. So, what should I do? Innocently, this 17th yo girl thought that she should make a lot of money. And she started to dig what she is good at, and she found an old memories of drawings. Since that, she knew she would like to draw and make money from there.
A few months after, somebody brought the words "Graphic Design" to her, and when she was Googling about that stuff, she found a treasure box, there was an opportunity to get a massive, a huge amount of money through this job field, and she ridiculously believe that. That's how I end up in this major right now. Yeah, pretty foolish should I say. But, it's also because I don't have any other options, I'm not good at math, nor economic and language, so this is my only option.
Same thing with this moment I'm facing right now, I have no option. I want to further my study actually, but the money is not there. I can't follow my ego and spent all my mom's last money without knowing if there's a guarantee I'm going to get a job and pay my brothers school fees. I know what my mom is thinking, and I understand that. So, what should I do? Go get a job, pay my brothers school fees, and if there's some amount left, I can pursue my degree. I'm not blaming anyone for this situation, this is what I've chosen.
So, from here, in my opinion -underlined, bold-, the problem is they had too many options and they have not realized yet the purpose of their life. Who they want to dedicate their life to. As for me, like I've mentioned before, success is when you could dedicate your life for someone else for something worth, even if it's just a little thing like making them smile when they're sad. So, I want to dedicate my life to my family, I want to make them happy using the soul I borrowed from God. When you had this goal in your life, it will helps you to decide where you want to be and you'll do it whatever it takes.
And trust me, don't you ever regret what's happened to your life, it's all had their own meaning and purposes for your life. It's a continuity that will leads you to some points, in the right timing, in the right venue.
As for today, what I want to tell you guys, all my best friends, never give up, never regrets, do your best, you're worth it, you're all special in different ways and you're holding somebody's smile. Your life is not determined by your college's major decisions or whether you will further your study or career first or where are you gonna have it, it will be influenced, but not determined. Your life worth for something bigger, somebody's happiness. Just found that people and give them their smile. That moment, you'll know that you're doing the right thing. Good luck for all of you and all of us. God bless us.
See you in the next post. Have a great Monday!
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